1 week to go…

June 22, 2009

Time really flashes by when I stopped counting.

Just two months back, I could hardly wait to leave for Aussie land. I was anticipating the freedom, the cold air, the interesting cultures and everything I had ever dreamed of!!!! I could only see the perks of this “opportunity” of mine. The letting go of old baggages and exploring greener pastures.

But lo and behold! The ‘months’ and ‘weeks’ have dwindled down to mere ‘days’. And being able to count them with only my fingers is a scary thought. Where did all the time go? There are still so many things I haven’t done. So many words I haven’t said.

What would I give for just one more week here in sunny Singapore?

Nevermind the irritating humid weather, the sweltering heat, the naggy mother, the curfews. This is my comfort zone. My whole life!! My home. Its unnerving to know than in a week’s time, everything will not be the same anymore.

I wouldn’t know how to get from Point A to Point B. I wouldn’t know where to find bubble tea or $1 raspberry ripple icecream. I wouldn’t have a maid to clean up my mess. I wouldn’t have a mother staying up to make sure I made it home safe. I wouldn’t have a best friend to call when the nightmares hit and I can’t fall asleep. :( :( :(

Humans change. We adapt and improve ourselves to best suit our circumstances. We lose some things as we move on this journey called life. In the process, we earn experience and we gain new things. I know this would be a huge step towards my personal growth and I know that the Joy today would be more worldy-wise and matured come November. Nothing but good with come out of this exposure.

But today, I can’t help but feel a tinge of helplessness. Eagerly searching for someone, anyone who would give me a reason to back out from this decision.

Today, I just want to hide under the covers and pretend.

Today, I 舍不得.

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