He says, “be strong Joy”.

June 23, 2009

Packing is such a bore!

40kg definitely isn’t going to be enough at the rate I am going – I could have just packed my whole house by the end of the week!!! Poo!

************

My mood has not really improved since 4 hours ago. I understand better but unfortunately, that does not translate to being in higher spirits. I finally understand why Xueqin didn’t want anyone to send her off at the airport. It will just make letting go so much harder.

Everyone feels happy for me and its impossible to put in words the anguish or describe the loss. It strikes even more vividly when the very one whom I relate to most can’t understand the turmoil churning through me right now and it hurts me to restrain the frustration at not being able to vent out the fear.

Its like I am backed into a corner. No room to retreat from these f-ing moods but afraid lashing out would cause more pain to those who care. But I will keep it in because all that I hold dear is counting on that. I, myself am counting on that.

I can. I will. I must.

My eyelids are closing but it feels wrong to fall asleep. Because when I wake up, another day would have passed me by. Its sucks to have to clock the minutes. :(

Pray for me, please.

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6 Responses to “He says, “be strong Joy”.”

  1. xinyu Says:

    hey gal… dun think so much k… everything will be just fine… sayang u kz… *hugs*

  2. xue Says:

    Dear i noe this is harder for u.. jus try ur best k.. cry when u need to.. to pple u love.. they wi worry but this is really the time u need to tok out..
    Remember u still hv me k! i wi wif u in aust for a mth and u still can call me when iam back in sg.. no prob! and i wi make sure u noe where to get really nice bubble tea, great food and great places to hang out.. although u might not thk its that nice.. oops hehe
    Just spend your last week doing things and spending time wif impt pple who u think you wi really miss :D

    • joyholic Says:

      sigh.. i wanna meet more ppl than i have time for. :( but i am still trying to squeeze provided my mother don’t give me a hard time abt not having packed. LOL! anyway, i want i want i want the bubble tea! that is like my no.1 favourite! :P

  3. ting Says:

    Today’s photos, Tomorrow’s memories. We may not be able to follow you there, but be sure that you are missed. We shall take a lot of photos with you, so that when you are there, you can always see them again and again.

    besides, we can always webcam if you dun mind my dark eye rings! cant wait to see you tomorrow girl!
    miss ya loads! (=

    • joyholic Says:

      hehehe then you must blog often with what you guys do so i will be updated! :) likewise, i will show you my new home thru peektures of course! :D

      love love~

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