I will be fine. :)

April 11, 2010

I really should be dutifully slugging it out with the formulas but my past few entries has been exceptionally worrying. Even mommy dear who called me “because I could feel you hurting”. :(

I think its wrong to cause frustration to people who care and want to help. But for some reason, I seem to fret more over people who push me away. Reverse psychology hur? Anyway, I will probably not get the car and go home with the money instead.

Recently, I have been drawing alot of similarities with Cheeleng, how we met, our boyfriend woes and certain scandals *ahem* across the years, I have come to realise she probably knows me better then I know myself. Funny how she can relate to my emotions over the past few days and be able to put it all into simple words! It seems so much clearer now. :)

Anyway, beyond all the confusing mess I got myself into – which I shall not reveal until I am in more control of my thoughts, she concluded that like all material possessions, the car would only excite me for a maximum of a month. Going home in 3 months seem a long time away (so its easy for me to say “lets buy a car and not go home!”)

But when July comes and goes, I would complain about missing all the coconut-heavy food, The Great Singapore Sale, and all the many many many trival stuff I whine about everyday. :P

Today, favourite boy video-called me… It felt so much better then all our conversations last week. But as April 30th draws forward, its the 4th year I spent waiting. I am so happy where I am with him but I hurt 3 very sweet people in that 4 years and now, I stand to lose another.

Hai, I am in such a fix. But boyboy I do lub you. Other then the fact I forgot how you smell like or how your eyes crinkle and body shakes when you literally laugh-out-loud. And its only been a month!!! This long distance thingadum, really kills alot of people. What makes me think what we share is any different?

Oh wells, back to Investment now. God help me.

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